You Need It All

Don’t filter your information for desired content. You need it all!

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

You Will Know

Knowing how they feel about you (or at least what they say), you can try to clear up any misunderstandings. If that doesn’t work, at least you know that they are not yet on your team and, if you need help, you need to look elsewhere.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Ignore the Insult to Get the Information

Sometimes, when people criticize you, they do want you to feel bad, or they don’t care how you feel. It really doesn’t matter. You need information. They’re giving it. Listening to them doesn’t mean you agree with what they are saying. Letting them say it doesn’t make it so. They might have it all wrong. But there is information there, just the same. By listening, you might see that your actions can be interpreted in different ways and you need to explain yourself. You might see that you left some people out of the loop that should have been in it. Or, you might see that they do have a hidden agenda and you need to take that into account in your planning. Probably, though, they didn’t fabricate their criticism out of whole cloth. Even when people insult you, they usually exaggerate your flaws instead of making them up. There is information that will help you even in an insult intended to hurt you. It is very important that you ignore the insult, at least long enough to get the information!

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Criticism Is Better Than Flattery

In fact, problems are so much easier to fix when you catch them right away, you can usually turn what would have been a failure into a success. Therefore, criticism that helps you find and fix a flaw is better than flattery that ignores the defects in your work. Sometimes, criticism is a compliment. Sometimes, people tell you something is wrong because they believe you can make it right.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Hastings Los Lunas, Friday, May 22

Book Signing
Friday, April 22, 2009
5:30 PM to 9:30 PM

Hastings
2341 North Main Street
Los Lunas, New Mexico 87031
(505) 866-4300

Local Authors!

Marianne Powers
Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time

Lela Belle Wolfert
Wishes in the Wind

David Corwell
Cloaked in Shadow
Dark Tales of Elves


Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Encourage People to Tell You

The easiest way to find out about problems is to listen when people complain about them. In fact, the fastest way to find out about problems is to encourage people to tell you when something is wrong (I never thought I’d do that!) and reward them for doing it. “Thank you for telling me,” I find myself saying (and meaning it). “I needed to know that.” “This could have turned into a real problem if you hadn’t told me, thanks!” “I’m so glad you caught that!”

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Refusing Doesn't Keep You from Getting Hurt

I learned that the filter (refusing to listen to criticism) doesn’t keep you from getting hurt. I learned that I’m not perfect and that’s OK and nobody else ever really believed I was. I learned that it is better to find out something isn’t working sooner rather than later. I learned that if you ignore problems, they don’t go away, they get bigger.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Something You Need to Learn

Usually, leaving didn’t matter to me very much. I have always loved my job, whatever it happened to be. Leaving a job was just an opportunity to get another; usually one that paid more. I even liked going to interviews (I still do). They gave me a chance to show off! But sometimes I really didn’t want to leave. Sometimes the misunderstanding was with someone I really cared about. Those hurt, a lot. They got through the filter. I knew there was something I needed to learn.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Filters Make You Miss It

It was like there was a filter on my hearing. Compliments got through okay and contributed to my store of knowledge. Complaints were reflected back on the speaker and didn’t teach me anything, except for the really big ones. If you constantly ignore all the hints and clues and outright statements that there is a problem, and just keep right on doing the thing that is causing the problem, sooner or later the problem gets big enough that somebody feels like they have to do something about it. Usually, my boss wanted to talk to me about it first. By then it was such a big issue there was no way I was going to admit to it. I mean, I might agree to a few tiny areas for improvement but I sure didn’t have any major flaws! My boss would usually have to be content with me agreeing that certain people might think I had said or done some such thing (although they were wrong, of course) and that I would try to keep from giving that impression in the future. That might keep me on my best behavior for a while, but sooner or later I would have to leave.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

What You Don't Want to Hear

I have always had trouble listening to information that I did not want to hear. If my boss told me I made a mistake, I thought he must be wrong (What does he know about it anyway?!). If my coworker said, “That new procedure isn’t working”, I thought she sabotaged it. If my customer didn’t like my suggestion, I thought her boss should fire her and hire someone more intelligent.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

What You Want to Hear

I have never had any trouble listening to information that I wanted to hear. If my boss told me I was doing a great job, I said thank you for telling me. If my coworker let me know that new procedure worked great, I kept that procedure and improved upon it. If my customer said I really helped her, I remembered and tried that method with the next one. As long as people told me what I was doing right, I had no problem being successful.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Welcome Information, Criticism is Information

There is nothing more important for doing the right thing and accomplishing all of your goals than having information. Information is essential. Wherever you want to go, you have to figure out how to get there. You have to know which road will take you there and which leads you in the wrong direction. You have to recognize the nature of the obstacles you encounter and find the resources to overcome them. You have to know who can or will help you and who might try to stop you. In anything you try to do, there is so much you need to know. You have to welcome information always, however it comes.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

You Can Know The Truth

Sometimes the truth is not in what people say, but you can know the truth by what is happening all around you.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Listen Even More Carefully

Then you must listen even more carefully. There are always clues that what people are saying and doing, what you are saying and doing, is the truth or not. As in Boolean logic, if what someone says is true and their actions are consistent with what they say, then their actions will produce certain results. If what they say is not true or their actions are not consistent with what they say, the results will be different.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

If They Don't Tell You

But sometimes people don’t just come out and tell you the truth. Maybe, like me, you are not as good a listener as the man who listened well. Maybe people don’t know they have the information you need. Maybe they don’t want you to have the information. But you still need to know the truth.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

If You Listen Really Well

If you listen really well, people will be delighted to tell you what you need to know.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Even If He Disagreed

If he disagreed with what I said, he would say so and explain, touching on the parts that he thought were right and saying at what point he thought it was wrong and why. He would take me with him every step of the way from where I was to where he was. So we still understood each other, even if we didn’t agree. Sometimes this was even more fun, as we always took some action and so found out who was closer to the truth. And he was always just as pleased when I was right as he was when he was right, because getting the job done was the important thing, not how we got there.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

He Understood and Appreciated

If he agreed with what I said, he would say so, and smile at me. Then he would say what I had said again, with something of his own added -- a slightly different slant, a story to illustrate. We would both smile at each other and sit there for a minute, smiling. To be understood and appreciated is a very great thing.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

He Didn't Reject Anything

At this point, I would never know if he agreed with me or not, because he always did this first. He didn’t reject anything out of hand – he tried it on, walked around in it, felt of it, and looked it all over, before he decided.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Checking Back with Me

When I started talking, he would look up again and watch me intently. He would listen the whole time I was talking. When I stopped talking, he would repeat it back to me. He would say it the way I meant it, checking with me to see if he had it exactly, not changing it or turning it into something else. “Hmmm,” he would say, “I see what you mean.” He would think about it silently then.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

How He Listened

Whenever I would go to talk to him, he would stop doing anything else, even though he was usually very busy. He would turn toward me. His face and body would relax. He would look me in the eye and smile. When he smiled, he always smiled with his eyes as well. Then he would look down and wait for me to speak, with the fingertips of his hands pressed together in front of him, absolutely still.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

The Man Who Listened Well

Recently, a man listened to me better than anyone I have ever met. It was a joyful and rewarding experience just having him listen to me. I listened to him right back, as best I could, so that I could find more things that I could say that he would want to listen to. I wanted to discover the truth for him and tell it to him. I wanted to do good work for him so that I could report back and he would listen to me some more, because he would know exactly how valuable what I said and what I did was, he listened so well.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Listen Very Carefully

To do the right thing and achieve your goals, you have to tell the truth. To know what the truth is, you have to listen very carefully. It is a good way to get to know people. It is a good way for people to get to know ou. I am beginning to think that really listening is what is known as charisma.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com

Listening

To do the right thing and achieve all your goals, you need lots of information. Here are seven techniques for getting the information you need.

Doing the Right Thing
and Achieving All Your Goals at the Same Time
www.mariannepowers.com