For the Man Who is Suffering from Conflict in His Office
I passed out pens at a class I was teaching yesterday. They have my website address on one side, http://www.mariannepowers.com/, and on another side they have the words, "people who work in offices and why we fight". One of the people in my class asked me, "What is this, what does it mean?" I explained that I have written a book and give talks about it. She said that you are suffering from the conflicts taking place in your office. She said maybe there would be something here that might help you. There is. The book published on this website is about people who work in offices and why we fight. It’s also about how we can stop fighting, solve our problems, and accomplish all our goals together.
I know what you are going through. I have worked in over 50 offices in Washington DC, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, Arkansas, Montana, South Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico. It is the same everywhere. If there is an office where you haven’t seen any conflict, it’s almost always because you haven’t hung around long enough. For 30 years, I fought with the people I worked with and they with me. At first, I thought it was them. Later, I thought it was me. When I became a consultant, I saw people fight each other the same way. They called each other stupid and lazy and crazy. They called each other evil. Just the way my coworkers and I had done. Then I knew it wasn’t me, it wasn’t us, it wasn’t any particular person or group, it’s everybody. And it’s very destructive. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can change how things are, how things work in your office. First of all, you can change it for yourself. If you read just the table of contents, you will start to see that you already know how to solve every problem, resolve every conflict, and achieve every goal that you have. It’s mixed up with everything else you have experienced or have heard or thought might be true. I’m pointing out that these particular things, that you already know, are effective, will work. If you are a manager, you can change it for your group. You can adopt the 25 points in the table of contents as “rules for engagement”, as the way to fight, because there will be conflict, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. And it will seem reasonable to people because it’s what they already know, too. Things like: You can talk about what someone else said or did. You cannot talk about someone else’s intelligence or character or personality. You don’t have to like her, but you do have to treat her with respect. If the any of the titles in the table of contents are not clear enough, you can read the chapter to see what it means.
You can reply to this blog or e-mail at marianne@mariannepowers.com or call me at 505-270-9150. I don’t think it will be necessary to tell me any details of the conflict. I can tell you that most coworkers fight about the way the workload is distributed. It’s common for people not to know what anyone else in their company does. And when you don’t know what somebody else is doing, it appears that they’re doing nothing. But it’s not the fact that people fight or what they fight about that is the problem, it’s the way they fight. I would also be glad to come and talk to you or your group.
Marianne Powers
I know what you are going through. I have worked in over 50 offices in Washington DC, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, Arkansas, Montana, South Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico. It is the same everywhere. If there is an office where you haven’t seen any conflict, it’s almost always because you haven’t hung around long enough. For 30 years, I fought with the people I worked with and they with me. At first, I thought it was them. Later, I thought it was me. When I became a consultant, I saw people fight each other the same way. They called each other stupid and lazy and crazy. They called each other evil. Just the way my coworkers and I had done. Then I knew it wasn’t me, it wasn’t us, it wasn’t any particular person or group, it’s everybody. And it’s very destructive. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can change how things are, how things work in your office. First of all, you can change it for yourself. If you read just the table of contents, you will start to see that you already know how to solve every problem, resolve every conflict, and achieve every goal that you have. It’s mixed up with everything else you have experienced or have heard or thought might be true. I’m pointing out that these particular things, that you already know, are effective, will work. If you are a manager, you can change it for your group. You can adopt the 25 points in the table of contents as “rules for engagement”, as the way to fight, because there will be conflict, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. And it will seem reasonable to people because it’s what they already know, too. Things like: You can talk about what someone else said or did. You cannot talk about someone else’s intelligence or character or personality. You don’t have to like her, but you do have to treat her with respect. If the any of the titles in the table of contents are not clear enough, you can read the chapter to see what it means.
You can reply to this blog or e-mail at marianne@mariannepowers.com or call me at 505-270-9150. I don’t think it will be necessary to tell me any details of the conflict. I can tell you that most coworkers fight about the way the workload is distributed. It’s common for people not to know what anyone else in their company does. And when you don’t know what somebody else is doing, it appears that they’re doing nothing. But it’s not the fact that people fight or what they fight about that is the problem, it’s the way they fight. I would also be glad to come and talk to you or your group.
Marianne Powers
posted by Marianne at 3:57 PM
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